Our little girl turned 7 over the weekend!

Seven!

We had fun celebrating her and all the love and joy she brings to our family.

Ash is currently into horse.  Recently she has been turning everything into a horse, her bike, the scooter and even the bar stools.  You might say she's horse crazy!  The only thing she asked for this year was a fur real pony.  Well actually she first asked for a real miniature pony that could live in the backyard with Jake, but after many conversations about how that wasn't going to be possible she settled on hoping for a fur real pony instead.

 And she loves her new pony!

I always say Ash is the greatest anniversary gift I ever got.  I don't mind sharing my special day with her, it just makes the day that much more special.  My mom brought some pictures to the party that she finally got developed, the roll of film had been riding around with her in the suburban for 7 years!  

It was fun looking through the pictures, here we are on our 4th anniversary.

And look at our little family now, here we are 7 years later on our 11th anniversary!

Ashy's party didn't start until dinner.  My mom, sister and grandparents came over for kabobs.  The boys joined us for cupcakes.  The kids played horseshoes and took a few whacks at the pinata.  We sang happy birthday and opened presents.  Ash got a lot of nice gifts, many were horse related!  

She was one happy and tired girl when bedtime finally came.

 What a great day!

blessings

the other sunday pastor cook told us how God blesses us when he speaks to us through his word.

wow.  that struck me.  

i usually think of a blessing as all the other things, sunshine, children, a home, comfy bed.

it's him, his word, that's a blessing. it's my daily relationship and encounter with him that is the blessing, it's hearing from him and all that he wants to tell me.  when i read his word i find - truth, heart changing, directing, encouraging, correcting, eye opening, love, wisdom, promises,

words full of blessings.

i've heard this all my life, i sing it to my girls,

 read your bible and pray everyday and you'll grow, grow, grow.

and i do, most days, but i got to a point where if i wasn't really digging into the word, studying it, or feeling changed by it right then and there that i thought i wasn't doing it right.  i must not be focused enough, i must not have it figured out, i'm failing at my time in the word.

then i read this

"do not think you are getting no good from the bible, merely because you do not see that good day by day.  the greatest effects are by no means those which make the most noise and are most easily observed.  the greatest effects are often silent, quiet and hard to detect at the time they are being produced."

light bulb, so really you're saying all i need to do is read.

just read.

soak up the word.

fill my heart and mind with his word.

"there may be far more doing than you think in your soul by your bible-reading"

(j.c. ryle, practical religion, 136)

wow.

just read amanda.

the Lord is working in you, he is blessing you through his words.

Ta-da

my new smile

i'm amazed at how great it looks.  dr miler was right, with braces he could get my smile perfect.

he straightened my teeth, widened my smile, fixed my over bite and then shaped my front gums to make my teeth look bigger.  

smile. perfect.

well almost, he is still working on a little gap with my retainer. ;o)

here's what my smile looked like during my brace face stage

and here's my smile before

i wasn't self conscious of smile before, just ask anyone, i loved to snort and smile but now

 I really love to snort and smile.

i love you mom and dad, thanks for my new beautiful smile!

a day for moms

i had such a nice mother's day/weekend.

jason had to work on sunday but had saturday off and made that my mother's day.

he made me coffee, cooked breakfast and cleaned the kitchen.  he even let me open my mother's day present early, which shocked me and i got what i wanted, thanks j!  he ordered chinese for dinner and brought me home a snickers ice cream bar for dessert.  it was perfect.

sunday morning the girls came down to give me big hugs and tell me happy mother's day.

j had a sweet card for me and ash gave me the present she'd made at school.  her little letter to me was so nice, i am so loved.  abigail wanted to wait and give me my present at my sister's house. it was a bouquet of flowers and note that she had made at school.

j helped me get the girls ready for church and pack up everything i was taking to my sisters.  i got a couple dings on my phone and saw he had text me a couple sweet notes.  i responded and told him thanks.  then after church i had 3 more text on my phone.  some would say love, ash or abigail.  i asked abigail if dad had talked to her about sending me texts messages.  she denied knowing anything.  i finally text j back and asked what was going on.  he told me he had it set up to send me little love notes all day long from him and the girls. the girls wouldn't let on to knowing anything about it and at the end of the day ash asked if i got all my notes.  j said that even though he wasn't with me on mother's day that he wanted me to know he was still thinking of me.  now is that sweet or what!  i have the most thoughtful husband.  the text messages came every hour.  i loved it, it was the best mother's day gift.

we spent the afternoon at my sister's house.  we ate, played croquet and somehow the girls talked grandma into taking them swimming at the athletic club.

it was a perfect day, i am so thankful i got to spend it with my mom and sister.

Photo Download

I finally downloaded pictures off my camera this morning.

I had fun uploading them to PicMonkey and applying different effects to them.  Now when they get the ability to do collages, I will super duper love them.

When Beverly was here we went out to Swan Falls, look at that backdrop.

Ashy got a new bike, she's on an 18in now.  That girl sure is growing up.

Look at what I walked down to one evening.  Isn't Ash so sweet.  She informed me that one of the candy bars was for me and one for her.  We're both chocolate lovers, I love that!

Ash saw my camera out and wanted to take my picture, here's where she placed me and Jake.

My Ashlynn.

Becoming a SAHM, part 3

Well, I can't really remember the exact dates or all the little details.

But things at the hospital were changing, actually they had been for awhile.  The Heart Center went from one manager back to each unit having their own.  There were budget cuts and constant budget reviews, hiring freezes, and managers having to go before a board to ask for permission to replace positions.  I kinda knew my position was at risk.  I was asked to support others a little, which I didn't mind but in the end my position was eliminated.

I remember the day.  My boss pulled me in her office with her boss.  They sat me down and told me they had to cut my job.  I was shocked.  I couldn't believe it.  I cried.  I was pregnant.  What was I going to do.  I was mad.  Mad at my boss for not fighting harder for me and mad at St Als for doing this to me.  I totally took it personally.

Now when I look back I see the hand of God in that moment.  He knew if I had this great job I'd pick it.  I'd continue to work.  He wanted me home.  He pushed and made me uncomfortable.  It wasn't my boss, it wasn't St Al's, it was God, he was in control.  Would I rest in knowing he'd take care of me?  Would I take that first step of faith?  Not right away, it'd take more to get me/us to see where the Lord wanted me.

So in typical human fashion we came up with a plan.  I'd go back to working on the unit.  Back to being a CNA.  Back to working long days on my feet.  But this time I was pregnant.  CNA's usually work 12 hour shifts, I was only part time so I asked for 8 hour shifts.  I worked 7-3.  It wasn't too bad.  I enjoyed getting to interact with the patients again.  And they didn't cut my pay.  That was nice.

Then Ash came

 (October 2005)

I took another 3 months off.  Actually a little bit more.  She was born in September and I didn't want to go back until after the holidays, so I started back in January.  Again, I thought how I can go back, how can leave her? It was hard.  When I went back I moved to another unit, I would work on CVICU instead of Tele.  CV was new to me and they didn't have as many patients.  It was also on the same floor as my old office and dear friend Kelle.  It had also been decided that one of my days could be devoted to administrative duties, so I got to work back in the office.   I could manage that, one day with Kelle, two days on the unit.  I'm trying to think back and remember if I had to work any holidays, or weekends.  I'm not sure.  I wouldn't have had daycare but maybe J or my sister watched the girls.  Really I'm trying to remember how I juggled it all.  I do have to say that during this time J and I knew exactly how hard it was to work and be home, and being home was the harder job.  When I went to work all I had to worry about was my self, but being home all day I had to worry and care for 2 other people.  J and I also understood how hard it was to come home from a long day at work and jump into mommy/daddy role and how difficult it could be to have a rough night with the kids and still have to get up with the alarm clock.  We both understood what the other one was going through. (Thanks J for all you did for me and the girls, you are a wonderful husband and father!)

So by August that year J and I bought a new house.  We moved into a bigger home and bigger house payment.  Now how could I ever quit?  During this time J's job changed, he moved from the outlet to the mall.  Now we were both just right down the road from the daycare. But J's job was a little more stressful and his schedule not the same, so there were a few days the girls were at daycare longer than 4 hours, but we made it work.

Then after the holidays J left EB and started with Kohl's.  He was hired as the HR/OPs manager and would help them open their new store in Nampa.  Which happens to be in the opposite direction of the hospital.  J wouldn't be able to help me with taking or picking up the girls anymore.  At the beginning of the year he left for a month of training in Colorado.  I was left to do this all on my own.  The girls were 3 and 1.  I worked at 7 which means they had to be at daycare by 6:45 and I wouldn't be back for them until 3:30.  That made my heart sad.  I didn't like how many hours they were going to be spending in daycare.  Things were not going to be the same, it was becoming more difficult, my mothers heart was heavy.  But what could I do, I had to make it work.

I'm sure the Lord was thinking oh Amanda.  Don't you see.  How many doors do I have to close.  When will you look to me.  When will you trust me.

Well it took me getting to the end of myself before I finally surrendered.  J got back from training but it didn't feel like he was back, he spent 16 hours a day at Kohl's, 6 days a week, up until they opened in April.  And I spent those days and hours crying and being completely frustrated at all that I was having to do.  I knew he had a job to do and that he needed to be there and that it wasn't going to last forever but I was drowning and had no one to rescue me.  At least that's what I thought.  I see and know now that Jesus was right there waiting for me to just reach out for his hand.

I couldn't do it.  Something had to give.  I finally said I couldn't work anymore.  I needed to be home full time, J agreed.  We would give things up and make sacrifices, but it was all worth it.  I've cherished this time with my girls and am so glad I/we finally decided to step out in faith.  I've seen God taking care and providing for us, growing my faith through needing Him and having to look to Him for help.  He is so good and he's been holding my hand all the way through.

So it was, and is, all Him.  He is in control.

 (May 2007)

Psalm 40:5

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done,

The things you planned for us 

no one can recount to you;

were I to speak and tell of them,

they would be too many to declare.

He has done so many great things for us, so many.  I'm so thankful one has been that I can be a stay at home mom.  It has been during these years that both my girls have come to know Jesus as their personal savior, which is the greatest gift of all.

And Annie, your number was picked. You won this cute pad of paper!

Becoming a SAHM, part 2

So J and I came up with a plan.  I would work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  He would have one of those days off and take care of Abigail that day, and on the other 2 days I worked J'd work a closing shift at EB (a time when a retail schedule was a blessing).  That meant Abigail was only being watched by someone else for 8 hours a week, he'd drop her off at noon and I'd pick her up at 4.  I felt better about working knowing she wasn't in daycare all day.

When it was finally time to return to work, the hospital daycare didn't have any openings.  So my wonderful sister jumped in and said she'd watch her.  It was so nice to know that during the hours we were away from her she was being loved on by her aunt and cousins

So on my first day back I didn't have the dreaded drop off to deal with.  Thankfully!  I got up, got ready and left her with Jason.  It was still hard, I missed Abigail like crazy but made it through my short week and looked forward to the days I was home with her.  It helped that Abigail was such a good baby.  By 3 months old she was sleeping through the night,  I'd put her down at 7 and she'd sleep till 7.  She would drink from a bottle or nurse, she was happy and healthy, making it easy for others to take care of her.  During this time J loved hanging out with his Abigail.  He'd take her to Home Depot, he loved how she rode next to him in his truck.  It was sweet to watch him with her and see their bond.  The older she got the harder it was for him to drop her off at daycare.  I was so happy I didn't have the drop off, I got the happy pickup instead!

That fall my sister broke her ankle and could no longer watch Abigail.  I called and the hospital daycare and they could now take her.  It was nice to have her close to me.  I could pop in and check on her, and right when I was done with work I could see her.  I came to love those working at the ELC and they loved Abigail.  As she got older they always told me about how motherly she was, she'd help all the other kids (her same age), hand them their blanket, get their pacifiers for them and even try to put a shoe back on or button their coats. Her tender heart and compassion has been seen in her since she was very young.

So, with Abigail getting older it was time to have another one.  This time we got pregnant right away.  Life was good.  We had it down.  It'd be easy to add another one to the mix.  We'd just do it the same way.  Right.  Wrong.  That's when the curve balls came, when my perfect little plan wasn't going so perfectly.  That's when the Lord started changing things up, making me uncomfortable, pushing me in another direction.

Becoming a SAHM, part 1

Where to begin, well I guess the best place to start would be from the time I became a mom.

J and I were so excited to find out we were pregnant.  We had been trying to get pregnant for about 6 months and every month it was all I could think about.  I had always dreamed of being a stay at home mom but at this point I had been working at the hospital for 6 years.  I loved my job and the people I worked with.  I had worked hard and was making pretty good money for someone who hadn't completed college.

When I first started at the hospital I worked on Telemetry as a CNA.  Soon I became a Unit Clerk.  And then when I started looking for a change I was asked to take a job as my current managers secretary.  She managed 3 units, Tele, CCU and CVICU.  I had no idea how to be someones secretary but I loved the thought of Monday through Friday, my own office and something new.

It was such a great job, I loved going to work.

I loved my boss. I loved that I got to see all my friends. I loved organizing, scheduling meetings, taking on special projects, building spreadsheets, learning new programs, running errands.  I loved that my hours were flexible.  If I was a little late to work, I stayed a little later.  When I got pregnant I could go to my prenatal appointments during the day, which happened to be right across the bridge, and then just add on time that week to make up for it.  Plus I loved the person that I shared an office with.  God put me in a little "closet" with an amazing Christian women.  Kelle and I spent 8 hours a day talking and laughing together, while we worked.  To me it was a dream job.  I was still around all the medical stuff I loved but yet behind the scenes.

We weren't sure how we could cut out my income completely.  Jason knew and I agreed we couldn't go without.  I'd have to stay working after Abigail was born.  In talking to my boss we were able to work out me coming back only part time.  I took 3 months off after Abigail was born and during those months wondered how I could even go back part time.

5th blogaversary

That's right, today is my five year blog anniversary!

Wow!  Five years of memories recorded, that's so awesome.

I'm so happy I started a blog.

So, do you know what happened five years ago that made me want to start a blog? 

 I started my blog right after I became a full time stay at home mom.  Up until then I had been working part time at the hospital.  Here's my first post.

 I've always wanted to blog about how becoming a full time stay at home mom came about, but I never did get around to it.  So, this week I'm going to.  And the real reason I want to blog about it is because now when I look back at that time in my life I see how it was God who orchestrated it all.  Not me or J, but Him.  And I am so thankful that He did.  It took a few nudges, or better yet, hits over the head but we finally figured it out. God wanted me home with my girls.

Thank you Lord for making me uncomfortable.

Thank you Lord for the struggles, for bringing me to the end of myself.

Thank you Lord for closing doors.

Thank you Lord for asking me to rely on you and you alone.

Thank you Lord for wanting what is best for our family.

And thank you Lord for this time at home I've had with my girls, raising them, guiding them and loving them everyday.

Tomorrow I'll share more details and tell you why it was such a struggle for me to pick home over work.  Of course as I write it out now I think why was it even a question, but it was.

I knew I wanted to celebrate this anniversary with a giveaway but was unsure of what to giveaway.  Then this weekend I saw this pinned and it all came together.  I am so grateful for all the Lord has done and continues to do and maybe you too would like to record on your own super cute paper things that you are grateful for.

Okay, just leave me a comment and tell me something you're grateful for and you'll be entered into the giveaway.  I'll take comments on this post through Friday and on Saturday I will randomly pick one comment to win.

See you tomorrow.

one year

can you believe it

one year ago today i got braces

my teeth quickly straightened out

my over bite has also been fixed, although i am still wearing bands

my front teeth received a little shaving so that they match up perfectly

my smile is a lot wider

and now we're just working on some gaps 

and getting to a point where my teeth can just sit and hold still for awhile

 first day, 6 months, 1 year

30 four

 

What a fun {birthday} weekend!

I loved checking the mailbox everyday, birthday mail is the best.

Jason and the girls took me out to dinner on Saturday to the Olive Garden.  I love the picture Ash drew of herself.

Sunday I walked into King's Corner at church and was so surprised to see a Happy Birthday banner and balloons hung up on the white board and party hats on the chairs for the kids. It totally made me smile, thanks friend!

We had lunch with my family, they invited me over for hamburgers and ice cream.  It was nice to all (Mick was home for the weekend) be together.

And then it was finally the day, the girls both had school today so this birthday girl got a date day with her husband, which included shopping ... the perfect way to spend a birthday!  The moment I really loved was when he picked a table for us to eat at he picked the one that was half in sun, knowing I'd like to sit in the sunny spot.

Tonight we made pizzas and brownies, it was a perfect stay at home night with the ones I love!

Sunshine on a Rainy Day

One of the things I love most about Idaho is that even on a rainy day there's still a good chance that the sun will break through and shine.

That's exactly what happened Thursday.  The morning started out wet,wet,wet, and then by the afternoon the sun peaked through the clouds for us.  It was so nice and totally lifted my spirits.

I wasn't sure how long it'd last, so I jumped at the opportunity to go on a {nice} bike ride with my favorite dog, Jake.

Doesn't he look happy!

Hello Twenty Twelve

Happy New Year!

The girls and I rang in the new year watching Little House on the Prairie.  We're in season 8 now, it's the years when Mrs Olsen adopts a daughter, Nancy, and she's just like Nellie and Laura is all grown up and having children.  

Jason had New Year's day off, we went to church and out for lunch and then came home to hang out together and enjoy the last day of Christmas break. 

One of my new year resolutions is to eat more salad.  I want to have a green salad at more of our dinners, there are just so many more nutrients in your vegetables when you don't cook them. So, guess what we had with dinner last night? ;o)

 I saw this on pinterest the other day

(source)

and it convicted me.  

Am I giving thanks always? for all things?

I ran across this post and loved the idea but then more recently I saw her talk about this app and liked the idea of that too!

Basically, I've decided it's a great year to keep track of and record one of the gifts I receive each day.  I hope that in doing this it will open my eyes to the many blessing the Lord gives me and how much I have to be thankful for.

1 Thes 5:18

give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus

I have to share what Abigail told me, she said one of her New Year resolutions is to be nicer to her sister, how sweet is that.

And Ash told me last night that she wants to be baptized.

It's going to be a great 2012!

Date Day

now that both girls are in school and with J's crazy retail schedule every once in awhile we get a day where it's just the two of us.
we are one of those couples who rarely go out, not that we don't want to, but with schedules, and life, and having to find someone to watch the girls, it just rarely or almost never happens.
but now, we are getting to have date days instead.
sometimes when this happens we just hang out around the house and get things checked off the ol' to do list, but tuesday we made it a date day and headed out on the town at 10am. ha.

j got his flu shot.
we hit walmart for a few halloween accessories.
i tried to find an opi nail polish i've seen pinned all over pintrest, but no such luck.
j checked out brewforia.
we grabbed lunch at the pita pocket.
and he took me to home depot to look at kitchen appliances and sinks.

 my date, i'm a very lucky girl.
we had no set plans, we weren't rushed, we just enjoyed the day hanging out together.

A LOVE Story

10 years ago I married the most wonderful guy.

Our love story began in the summer of 2000.

Our first meeting was July 11 to be exact.  I was working as a CNA at the hospital, which meant I worked 3, 12hr shifts a week.  That left quite a bit of free time, if I didn't pick up any extra shifts.  On a hot July morning I got a call from Tom.  Tom was Theresa's husband and Theresa was a nurse I worked with.  Anyways, Tom called and asked if I would like to go water skiing with him and his friend Jason.  Jason worked in retail and Tom was a pilot and they just needed to find someone else with an unusual work schedule that could go out to the lake on weekday too. I didn't even have to think about it, I was in.  

Now just so you know I wasn't expecting to meet my future husband, which is the case for most of us when we leave the house, but that was just who I was about to meet.  The funny thing is, that Tom was a lot older than me, like in his late 30's so I figured his friend Jason would be his age too.

I pulled up to the gas station, our meeting place, stepped out of my white ford fiesta with the blue hood and walked over.  I immediately realized that Tom's friend was not Tom's age but instead my age or as I'd later find out, at least still in his 20's.

We had lots of fun out on the lake that day.  And all I specifically remember was that I thought Jason was totally cute.  Plus, I'll never forget that when I asked him to guess my age he guessed 25.  That never, and I mean never happens to me, people always say I look younger than I am.  I had a date that night that I had to get back for, but I remember all I could think about was Jason, and wondered when would be the next time we'd see each other.

The next day when I went to work, Theresa was working too, she said Jason asked her, to ask me, for my number.  Yes!

So we start dating.  I really liked him.  He was so interesting.  He'd lived in Hawaii, been to Africa and Costa Rica.  He loved to travel and that impressed this Idaho girl.  He was a gentleman.  He had a career.  He was determined and goal oriented.  He was an all around great guy.   I helped him celebrate his 29th birthday and then a couple weeks later he told me he was taking a traveling job with EB and that he'd been gone 4-6 weeks at a time.  I couldn't believe it.  Good bye great guy, it was nice to know you.  And so, I really didn't think it'd ever work out.

But how would I know that the one thing I thought would pull us apart actually would end up bringing us closer together.  It was during those weeks he was gone that we spent hours talking late into the night about everything and anything and connecting.  We really got to know each other.  It was better than dating.  On a date you chat a bit over dinner, sit through a 2 hour movie, and then go home.  But instead of that we talked and shared everything.   

By Christmas I was head over hills for him.  On my birthday he told me he loved me.  In March he was asking me for my opinion on what color to paint the house he was building.  In May I went to meet his parents.  And on the fourth of July, after a day spent on the lake boating with my family, he proposed to me.  Yes!

On our wedding day I'll never forget Jason words to me as we drove to the reception.

He told me that when he's on his death bed he wants to hear me say that I'd had a wonderful life, full of love.  I cried.  I cry now thinking of those touching words and all that he does everyday to do just that.

Our marriage is full of love.  And that love continues to grow, especially with the addition of these two beautiful daughters of ours.

Girls Weekend

I just had an amazing weekend in McCall with some great gals! 

Crafting, eating, movies, sewing, chatting, laughing and snorting.

So much fun!

And while I was away, J and the girls had a their own amazing daddy/girl weekend.

Soccer game, the library, fish store, movie night, bike rides, basketball, homemade root beer, and playing outside.

So much fun!

I enjoyed my time away but there's something to be said for coming home, especially when you come home to this...

a little note of love

plus 1 wonderful husband and 2 happy girls

I hope your weekend was just as AMAZING!

Head to Kelly's blog if you'd like to get the full scoop on our weekend and see the amazing pictures.  Plus I can't wait to show you what I made for the girls and what was made for me.  Super cute!  That post, yep, it's coming.

Help me pick a title

I couldn't decide, it was either going to be

2 year commitment

or

drumroll, please

or

the best birthday gift ever

or

brace face

or

metal mouth

Which one do you like best?

That's right folks, I got BRACES today!!!!

Here's my smile before

Here's my smile during 

and I can't wait to show you the after picture, but wow, that feels like forever away at this point.

The place to be

(picture taken Aug 2009)

Do you see Jake? I laugh that he always decides to lay right there, right under the girls swings. It's the place he'll receive a few kick and jabs, some on accident, some I think on purpose. But regardless of that, he'll pick this spot every time the girls are out playing. He thinks it's the place to be.

He loves them. Loves to be close to them. Loves that they are around and near him.

That's how I feel. I also want to be right there where the girls are. Close enough to feel their love, hear their laughter and know them like only those who get close enough can. To be filled with their joy, bask in their innocents and hear the things that are in their heart. I choose that place even though some days I receive kicks and jabs in my daily journey of raising, disciplining, guiding and directing them, but no matter how hard those day can be, I still want to be ... right there where Jake is.

Close to my girls, it's the place to be.